In Life's Wake
by Novi T. Foxtrot
Summary: Life throws CJ headlong into a situation no one should have to face and through her pain she comes to a conclusion or two.


**Title:** In Life's Wake

**Author:** Novi T. Foxtrot

**Characters:** CJ Cregg, Hogan Cregg, Simon Donovan, and a brief appearance by Carol Fitzgerald

**Spoilers:** None.

**Summary:** Life throws CJ headlong into a situation no one should have to face and through her pain she comes to a conclusion or two.

**Disclaimer:** Character rights belong to Warner Bros. Entertainment, Inc. and John Wells Productions.

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CJ the night before had curled her body next to his, half asleep she had whispered "I don't think I can do this without you." Simon whispered back into her hair, "You don't have to." When they first started dating neither had tried to define their relationship, after all, they were in their forties and the term dating seemed awkward at best. But in the quietness and despair their words exchanged meant more than the words "I love you."

After the stalker had been arrested, Simon had returned to the task of Agent in Charge for Advance. It was campaign season and the closer to Election Day they neared the number of travel stops increased. The service was spread thin to accommodate the normal White House and Dignitary duties as well as Robert Ritchi's campaign, thus, Simon's experience was readily put to use. Simon and his team would unload in a city, taking command and preparing for the presidential visit, they would successfully see it through, before hoping on a plane to the next location.

There were phone calls at one in the morning, and when he called her office during a break in his day, her voice was filled with desire and happiness. His team kidded him about the budding relationship and every so often CJ and Simon would end up in a city at the same time. They would steal away, particularly on the occasions where the President was spending the night before continuing on to another full day of campaigning. Falling passionately into bed together, relieving the stress that wrought their bodies, they would lie together afterwards, content in the silence of the other before sleep claimed them.

After the election Simon was stationed in DC and CJ was secure in her future and they were content to just be; spending most of their time outside of work together. Simon had celebrated Thanksgiving at CJ's brother's. Relishing in the antics of Hogan and her six year old half brother Ryder - the day had been filled with laughter, good food, and good company.

But on this cold January morning the fun and flirting that had permeated the last couple of months was no longer present. Hogan stood stoically at CJ's side. Her eyes red with tears, reflected the scene in front of her; two mahogany coffins, identical in appearance. CJ desperately grasped Simon's free hand willing the tears, which too stained her eyes, to not fall. Pain evident on her face as she watched her brother and his second wife slowly lowered into the ground. Her heart broke, not for her own loss, but for Hogan who had lost her father, and for Ryder who had lost both his parents.

The words of the priest slowly invading her consciousness "… and let perpetual light shine upon them." CJ feared the words that she knew were to follow: "May they rest in Peace."

"Amen," CJ and Simon said. Ryder buried his face in Simon's shoulder and Hogan's words were a breath barely discernable in the winter wind.

CJ knew that they should head back to the house and the guests that waited there. She reached out to grasp Hogan's hand, but the young woman shook it off. Instead she took several tentative steps closer to the graves, until she was standing at the edge. Dropping to her knees, she broke and the tears freely flowed down her face. She cried for the loss of her mother a decade ago and she cried at the loss of her father. For at this moment it finally seemed real, her father and step-mother were gone.

Simon motioned to CJ to wait a minute, to give her time, Hogan needed her own chance to say goodbye in her own way. After several moments had passed, CJ slowly made her way towards Hogan. Bending down CJ wrapped her arms around Hogan, consoling her. Simon turned and carried the six year old towards the heat of the awaiting car.

The last several days had been a roller coaster ride for everyone. CJ had gotten a call three days previous that her brother and sister-in-law had been involved in an accident. The Maryland State Trooper had given his condolences after telling her they had died on the scene. Carol had come in to CJ's office to give her the fifteen minute warning for the afternoon briefing, to find CJ with her cell phone clutched in her hand, her eyes closed as if willing herself not to break. Snapping back to painful reality she informed Carol that she needed Toby in her office, Simon on the phone, someone had fifteen minutes to track down her deputy and she needed to speak to her brother's secretary. The command in her voice nearly broke on the last words. "Simon, the secretary, then Toby." CJ amended.

The mass had been somber, encompassing the catholic rituals required for burial and a stark step of the grieving process. As they rode back in silence to her brother's sprawling Maryland home and the friends and family that awaited them there, CJ did not know what awaited them in the future, but she did know that there wasn't anyone else she would rather have by her side.

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**AN:** Hope you enjoyed. Novi. 


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